tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-58641582012-01-30T16:41:28.189-05:00What happens to a Penguin Person while waiting for the Spheniscidae superpowers to developJanetnoreply@blogger.comBlogger14311100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-35648929504436973162010-12-30T21:41:00.000-05:002010-12-30T21:41:16.491-05:00

Folks are posting their lists of ten unique things they've done. Mine has fewer famous people than John Scalzi's and not as many puppets as Mary Robinette Kowal's. She's met Muppets. Been bitten by a penguin (specifically, the penguin I'm staring at in my profile picture). Pet a wolf (who, unlike the penguin, did not bite me) Sprained my foot in a knitting accident (Note that says foot, not

Janetnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-39460750574864030102010-12-16T11:14:00.000-05:002010-12-16T11:14:35.911-05:00

From Seven Health Woes Brought On By Winter High cholesterol [Cholesterol] levels are highest in the winter and lowest in the summer, according to a 2004 study in the journal Archives of Internal Medicine. Out of 517 healthy people, 22 percent more people had high cholesterol (240 milligrams per deciliter of blood, or higher) in the winter months than in the summer months, according to the

Janetnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-26096775097688846072010-11-20T20:46:00.000-05:002010-11-20T20:46:39.547-05:00

Yes, I have been neglecting you, my poor blog readers. There have been reasons (read: excuses), but most of them boil down to a limited number of hours in the day, most of which are already spent writing or otherwise staring at the laptop screen. One of the other things I've been doing instead of blogging with you is setting up a new website for my business-y side. I'm billing it as my online

Janetnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-60892934235022799842010-11-09T19:42:00.000-05:002010-11-09T19:42:06.662-05:00

I don't know how I missed this. The 100 word writing challenge last week was about Penguins! And, I the Penguin Queen, did not participate! Read the entries of the writers with functional pengdar here. I expect votes to consider creativity, storytelling and penguinal correctness.

Janetnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-46542143314818995912010-10-19T19:47:00.000-04:002010-10-19T19:47:23.361-04:00

A screen grab from Indeed.com today:

Janetnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-11652970892754258762010-10-19T11:05:00.000-04:002010-10-19T11:05:55.264-04:00

Thanks for clicking over. This is my semi-personal blog, where I write about the odds and ends of life. I'm working on getting the professional website up, but as I wrote, if you wait until you're ready, you'll never do anything. Happy reading!

Janetnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-69422387397724002632010-10-12T00:56:00.000-04:002010-10-12T00:56:58.608-04:00

People, at least non-kosher people, like bacon. Ergo, we have people who grow bacon. Because people really like bacon - sometimes for eating, sometimes for taping to cats (Emp. Peng., please do not get ideas; it has been done) - we need to grow bacon efficiently, which means keeping bacon growers up to date on the latest pork-producing technology and developments. Enter the Swine Extension

Janetnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-58950417992758180292010-10-07T19:26:00.000-04:002010-10-07T19:26:43.179-04:00

In the course of fact-checking for work today, I discovered that my little slice of Ohio is the fourth-highest-paying city for doctors. This surprises me, because my experience with the doctors here has not led me to the conclusion that they earn that for their competence. I'd be more inclined to think that they accrue these higher-than-average salaries by starting to sneak up on patients with a

Janetnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-25918228701440688872010-10-03T09:01:00.002-04:002010-10-03T09:38:22.833-04:00

Yesterday, Emp. Peng. procured the Rookery's sixth coffeemaker. Considering that there are only five mammals in the household and three of those are cats, this may be overkill, in the way that my jar of Skippy may contain peanuts. However, I justify the purchase because, for all of our coffeemaking technology, we did not have one with simple "Push the button, and a full pot of coffee comes out"

Janetnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-22100641775221390532010-09-28T21:14:00.002-04:002010-09-28T21:23:21.064-04:00

I admit that I'm nosy. This tendency rears its ugly nasal passages in a big way as I'm standing in line at the supermarket. I pass time in line contemplating why people buy the things they are buying.I'm not alone in this hobby. A Sam's Club checker once asked me outright when she was baffled at my order: 4.5 pounds of Kraft grated parmesan cheese and three pounds of prunes. In that case, the two

Janetnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-55981185948102192092010-08-29T23:35:00.002-04:002010-08-29T23:50:34.728-04:00

I spent the weekend at Context 23, a wonderful weekend of speculative fiction writing and fandom, and a must-attend convention for any beginning genre writer. Today, after the convention closed, Emp. Peng. and I went to lunch with Stephen Zimmer. On the walk back to the convention hotel where we were parked, we passed a sign in a parking lot:No Semi'sWhat followed will be on the blooper reel when

Janetnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-34777452040906858512010-08-17T20:26:00.000-04:002010-08-17T20:27:07.046-04:00

Janetnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-72212761037380891332010-08-15T16:05:00.003-04:002010-08-15T16:34:40.589-04:00

A couple of years ago, I discussed how baby corn invades all Mongolian barbecue. If you've never been to a Mongolian barbecue (which bears no discernible resemblance to actual mongolian food or barbecue), you owe it to yourself to try. The basic idea is that you fill a bowl with assorted meats and vegetables then the cooks grill it up on a large circular grill. If you get a good restaurant, the

Janetnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-84761020325096761942010-08-09T11:13:00.002-04:002010-08-09T12:05:44.260-04:00

The latest craze in Political Wedge Issues is amending the 14th amendment's pesky loophole about not having to work any harder for U.S. citizenship than getting expelled from a birth canal in the right place (legally known as jus soli, or right of the soil). We should have seen this coming; when the economy tanks, people look for any reason they can glom on to for the protracted pain of being out

Janetnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-61267289982292626482010-08-05T23:37:00.003-04:002010-08-05T23:43:39.229-04:00

Lack of punctuation on a sign cost Spokane County $60 in parking fines when two men successfully argued that "No Public Parking Permit Required" could have a meaning entirely different from "No Public Parking; Permit Required." Granted, the men spent far more than $60 worth of time and effort standing up for the principle of eliminating run-on sentences in parking signs, but it's still a victory

Janetnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-5402146532479761352010-08-03T22:15:00.002-04:002010-08-03T23:13:34.912-04:00

If one is to believe the vinyl banner covering the sign for the defunct burger joint, there's a new pizza place down the street. That makes five pizza places in a one-mile stretch of road, coming perilously close to the density of auto parts stores on that strip. The vinyl sign advertises their special - or it might be their only menu item; it's hard to tell - of an 18-inch pizza, soda and five

Janetnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-47713118685909381362010-07-30T11:31:00.003-04:002010-07-30T11:52:19.302-04:00

The only thing I know about Silly Bands is that they're apparently the latest fad for a certain age group. I shouldn't know more than that, because if history from the mid-1980s to the present is any indication, the moment I have a clue about something is the exact nanosecond it becomes uncool. It's not just trends. Products get discontinued the moment I discover I like them. I bought three pairs

Janetnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-45682249826772487542010-07-27T21:27:00.002-04:002010-07-27T21:48:48.737-04:00

Textured vegetable protein. You've almost certainly eaten it. The fact that you probably don't realize that you have is what makes it the other food of the dystopian future. For that matter, the food of the topian present; it's used as a meat extender in a lot of what is loosely termed "food." That microwave beef and cheese burrito doesn't get to be 89 cents by being filled with 100% cow

Janetnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-34280261927500303222010-07-26T22:56:00.003-04:002010-07-26T23:08:58.318-04:00

I mentioned that peanut butter ball mix is one of the most sci-fi foods I know. To elaborate...My mother used to make peanut butter ball mix for me and PengSis as kids. There's no set recipe. Basically, mix peanut butter (I think creamy works better) with a bit of honey to make it sweet, and enough wheat germ and/or dry milk powder to make it not sticky. What you're left with is a concentrated,

Janetnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-6707548137244237912010-07-22T13:24:00.002-04:002010-07-22T15:04:13.219-04:00

One of my clients is extremely opposed to vaccinations. I'm not. It's a point on which we agree to disagree, with an arrangement that I don't have to directly put my name directly to anything opposing vaccinations. I think she is mistaken and using faulty logic to reach her conclusions about vaccinations, but I also know that her thought process is not going to be swayed. Plus, she who pays the

Janetnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-12026483842087201772010-07-22T13:11:00.001-04:002010-07-22T13:13:57.546-04:00

The pengsperts aren't sure what's going on, but whatever is happening spells Brazilian penguin doom.

Janetnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-3601665181400345242010-03-22T12:37:00.000-04:002010-03-22T12:38:05.483-04:00

We have the official First Woodchuck Sighting of the season!

Janetnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-75784296223953791412010-03-08T20:51:00.004-05:002010-03-08T22:01:00.258-05:00

Health and Human Services secretary Kathleen Sibelius has called for insurance companies to justify, explicitly and publicly, their premium increases. Now President Obama has gotten in on the action, calling for the aforementioned justification to be posted online for all to read.OK, OK, we get it. Insurance companies make money dealing with people who are sick and vulnerable and facing the

Janetnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-8971196772337644232010-01-16T11:35:00.004-05:002010-01-16T12:20:42.766-05:00

No, I did not die of my penguin-inflicted injury (though if I get to choose how I die, that's toward the top of the list), nor did I contract Penguin Flu and spend five months recuperating. My extended absence from the blog has been partly from keeping very busy with my now-year-old freelance copy editing business, and partly from racking up the GDP of several small nations in MyFarm. As if

Janetnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-66720429775576627822009-08-07T18:02:00.002-04:002009-08-07T18:04:28.238-04:00

I am healing from a penguin-inflicted injury. Yes, I got close enough to a penguin that I could be injured, and in keeping with someone who sprained a foot knitting, I managed to sustain some beaking damage. Full story in a couple of days.

Janetnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-23317288276276058742009-07-26T21:10:00.003-04:002009-07-26T21:46:17.895-04:00

I don't see a lot of advertising, so I hope you will overlook that my astonishment is about seven months late. I was 15 seconds into a spot that I assumed was a new snake oil mascara when I heard "Latisse is the first and only FDA-approved treatment for inadequate or not enough lashes."WTF? "Inadequate or not enough lashes?" Just because you name something "Eyelash hypotrichosis," that doesn't

Janetnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-4884213911176708732009-07-22T19:38:00.001-04:002009-07-22T19:41:03.036-04:00

When I die, please don't make my obituary as sappy as this one for the Taco Bell Chihuahua.

Janetnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-84701729244364705462009-07-20T09:05:00.002-04:002009-07-20T09:05:00.257-04:00

Forty years ago today, the first human beings set foot on an extraterrestrial body. I, of course, don't remember it. We came, we saw, and we left 6 years before I was born. Think about that for a moment. People are constitutionally eligible to be President of the United States who have never lived in a time when humans have stood on another world.We've had low-Earth orbit most of my life. NASA

Janetnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-59041751020475675382009-07-18T23:32:00.002-04:002009-07-19T00:38:19.013-04:00

So, the internet is abuzz with outrage over Amazon rectifying a problem with some sales of unauthorized digital editions. To get the obvious out of the way, Amazon handled the situation poorly. First off, a distributor of digital books on the level of Amazon should have some kind of safeguard in place to prevent this sort of thing--and by that I mean someone posting a digital book for sale that

Janetnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-52320381080873950762009-06-15T19:05:00.002-04:002009-06-15T19:22:18.779-04:00

I think I may have a problem (you can stop laughing now) (no, really). It's probably perfectly normal to go to the garden center for some cilantro seeds, see the clearance rack and impulsively pick up a 4-pack of Super Chili Hot Pepper seedlings just because they're 88 cents for a 4-pack and the name is intriguing. I mean, that's what clearance racks are for, right? Buying stuff you don't really

Janetnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-15585347932740958902009-06-12T22:50:00.003-04:002009-06-12T22:55:00.210-04:00

I present a transcript of an actual conversation that passed in the Rookery. We have preliminary harvest going on and I am blanching veggies for the freezer daily. The container of lettuce outside appreciates the daily dose of blanching water, so I leave the pan on the stove to cool.Emp. Peng: Why are you boiling urine?Me: That's not urine, that's pea water. (pause while I listen to what just

Janetnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-80354569546409817662009-06-02T21:44:00.001-04:002009-06-02T21:46:11.805-04:00

You know you need to put a flightless bird on latrine duty when the guano stain is visible from space.

Janetnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-73299879937988567342009-04-15T21:47:00.002-04:002009-04-15T23:33:19.849-04:00

The sun has set on another April 15, and here in the eastern time zone, folks have 2 hours and 12 minutes to get their returns to the post office.Hating taxes seems like the American birthright. The colonies severed the bonds of the mother country in part because of unfair taxation policy that treated the colonies like an 18th century ATM. Apparently, in the intervening years, we have lost the

Janetnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-28514329715131916742009-04-14T22:00:00.002-04:002009-04-14T22:21:58.974-04:00

In another social media venue, my sister posed the question of why Easter, which is the more monumental Christian holiday, isn't as anticipated as Christmas. After much thought, here's what I came up with:It all comes down to the date. It wasn’t until the fourth century that church leaders even decided that Jesus’ birth was something that ought to be celebrated, and by then, the exact date had

Janetnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-89488206665317668522009-04-03T21:06:00.005-04:002009-10-07T18:57:55.992-04:00

As with any episode of The Daily Show, the whole seven-odd minutes of this clip is worth watching, but the bit relevant to my commentary starts around 1:54.The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10cThe Ever Spending Storycomedycentral.comDaily Show Full EpisodesEconomic CrisisPolitical HumorI'm about to type a sentence I never thought would come out of my fingers.Can someone please hook

Janetnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-11905518863922204452009-03-23T22:58:00.002-04:002009-03-23T23:25:44.822-04:00

Let me add my voice to the noise in the blogosphere over this news item. To summarize for the non-clickers out there, the US Agency for International Development, the agency in charge of our international AIDS prevention efforts, has changed the suppliers they use for condoms for AIDS prevention programs in the developing world. The old supplier was in Alabama. The new suppliers are not

Janetnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-3876104812857426922009-03-14T13:59:00.002-04:002009-03-14T13:59:01.262-04:00

Today is Pi Day (unless you are in one of those countries that puts the dates backwards...you lot don't get a Pi Day until someone redoes the calendar to include a fourteenth month in the year). Celebrate with all things circular, particularly pie. If you were planning ahead, you can even make pie in one of these. Me, I'm planning a blowout bash in 6 years, on 3/14/15. We'll start the

Janetnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-64747088934468034422009-03-11T22:26:00.003-04:002009-03-11T22:39:50.165-04:00

I took part of the afternoon to work outside on the dry creekbed I am digging and landscaping so that my basement will remain dry. I had intended to take more of the afternoon for that particular task, but gave up when reminded why, when the wind is just right, it really blows to live downwind of the sewage treatment plant. Mercifully, the wind is not just right that often.I find it

Janetnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-48291234175148509152009-03-08T23:20:00.004-04:002009-03-08T23:51:22.381-04:00

The New York Times has an interesting set of essays from scientists on why people are so fascinated by killer asteroids. Two of my favorite astro-dudes, Seth Shostak and Neil deGrasse Tyson, throw their thoughts in.Of course, internet commenting being what it is, some absolute idiots also throw their thoughts (and I used that loosely) in. I'll admire the restraint of taking 10 whole comments to

Janetnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-71297920320977341152009-03-08T17:08:00.002-04:002009-03-08T18:07:47.037-04:00

Not that I think movie ratings are worth the digital bytes required to display them at the beginning of the movie, but if a movie is rated R, there is a better than even chance that it is not kid material. The odds go up considerably from there if the poster for that R-rated movie features a smiley face with a bullet hole in its forehead. There really isn't that much nuance in a brained smiley

Janetnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-48228025073678120942009-03-02T23:29:00.002-05:002009-03-02T23:41:06.293-05:00

Our (ha!) wonderful high-speed internet service crashed today, at the ISP's end (amazing what they can get away with as the only broadband option out here), leaving me without internet access most of the day. Now, it was bad enough that the lack of high speed internet meant I had an unanticipated day off work to do all those nagging chores like defrost the chest freezer and discover all the

Janetnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-17611806307785346622009-02-27T23:41:00.002-05:002009-02-28T00:07:06.424-05:00

You must immediately STOP casting voice over actors for their looks. I mean now.I just finished watching Madagascar 2. Like Madagascar 1, there were not enough penguins in this movie. It ended up being a slog through my memory banks, trying to figure out who the voice of the pompadour lion was (Alec Baldwin, though for a while I was half sure it was William Shatner), punctuated by some

Janetnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-11801993798995229262009-02-11T23:52:00.002-05:002009-02-12T00:09:55.116-05:00

The Rookery has been on generator power for a couple of hours now. Fortunately for me, the first improvement we made to the Rookery was having a 15kw standby generator installed. Less fortunate for Emp. Peng., who is migratory tonight and roosting in a location that has neither standby generator nor power. Mine is the only house I can see with lights. Matter of fact, the only other light I can

Janetnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-6643851620142475852009-02-08T23:48:00.002-05:002009-02-09T00:00:48.013-05:00

My name is Janet and I need to stop even looking at seed catalogs.I was being really good this year. I glanced at the seed catalogs and threw them away without so much as being interested in the new cultivars. I inventoried my seeds, made a list of the stuff I wanted to plant, compared to my list and actually made a shopping list of the seeds I need for the garden this year. I went to three

Janetnoreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-63682068047839388262009-02-02T14:36:00.002-05:002009-02-02T14:48:39.763-05:00

We here at Penguin Perspectives would like to take this Groundhog's Day to remind everyone--especially those who cringed at 8 years of fearing "nukular" weapons--that we are now two days into a month that contains 2 R's (thus, I suppose, making it safe to eat twice as many oysters) and no double-o combination."Feb-you-air-ee" is going on my list of Things That Get People's Larynx Privileges

Janetnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-73658077416034100462009-02-02T09:30:00.003-05:002009-02-02T12:35:32.208-05:00

Here's an interview with Staten Island Chuck's handler, discussing the nature of groundhogs and how to cope with a wife and a groundhog under the same roof. I'll link to Chuck's prognostication when I can find it online.UPDATE: Staten Island Chuck, like the rest of us, is ready for winter to be over and has prognosticated accordingly. Looking at the news footage, I think I prefer Chuck's

Janetnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-23897325349178054582009-02-02T08:52:00.002-05:002009-02-02T09:27:25.197-05:00

Punxsutawney Phil predicts winter will continue until the Vernal equinox. Safe bet, there. If anyone is wondering, here at the Rookery, Woodrow has more sense than to come out of hibernation when he would have to tunnel his way out of his den, only to have to tunnel down to food. Juding by the official pictures, Punxsutawney seems to feel the same way.I am at the point in winter when I don't

Janetnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-44379157875146074292009-01-31T22:53:00.002-05:002009-01-31T22:58:10.672-05:00

Nothing to see here, folks.The mouse is still at large. I am beginning to suspect that the mouse has been in residence for a while. A few weeks back, I happened to look up at the top shelf of the pantry and found an open, half eaten quart of apple pie filling. I am now given to understand that what I took for insect larvae in the jar were, in fact, mouse scat. This means that the mouse has

Janetnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-56451356576892348802009-01-29T22:10:00.002-05:002009-01-29T22:15:19.785-05:00

The first installment here will be on tape delay. About an hour ago, I saw an example of your standard issue field mouse scampering across the living room floor into the kitchen. I don't much blame it, since it is 22 degrees outside and we have roughly 2 feet of residual snow covering anything that would pass for a field around here.About half an hour ago, Chakaal decided to get her 18 pounds,

Janetnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-35974327476243137742009-01-29T22:03:00.002-05:002009-01-29T22:10:20.710-05:00

The good news is that the writing has been taking off like a shot. It's not the sort of thing that would make my BFA professors proud (then again, I doubt that any of them except one would be proud of anything vaguely comprehensible). Mostly, I write short summaries of this, that and the other thing, chock full of keywords to make it Googleriffic.Which brings me to why the blogging has been

Janetnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-20904570761954254692009-01-15T08:37:00.002-05:002009-01-15T08:40:27.577-05:00

The Rookery is currently enjoying--OK, not so much enjoying as experiencing--an ambient air temperature of -3 Fahrenheit. Just how cold is three below zero? I looked out my kitchen window this morning and my icicles have frost on them.

Janetnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-91810662315533147462009-01-08T19:16:00.002-05:002009-01-08T20:29:50.352-05:00

The government appears to have unwittingly caught on to the truth: the common cold is far more dangerous than terrorism. How do I know? As of this afternoon, I have had to show my ID more times to get rid of this blasted cold than to fly across the country, and that was before the identification shakedown to get nasal decongestant.Since airlines have cut back to what appears to be a national

Janetnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-80231987108862539242009-01-03T13:36:00.002-05:002009-01-03T13:47:07.111-05:00

On my voyage to buy cough syrup, I noticed something even more disturbing than the newfound fear that kids are managing to get toasted on tiny bottles of 3 proof liquor spike with guaifenesin: the Cadbury Cream Eggs are out already. Stores that have not finished moving their Christmas displays to the clearance bins are already putting out Easter merchandise.The Christmas stuff started popping up

Janetnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-62874209538226218002009-01-03T13:32:00.001-05:002009-01-03T13:35:52.904-05:00

If you have a lamp connected to The Clapper, turn it off when you have a cold. The audio sensor doesn't know the difference between "Clap on" and "Hack on."

Janetnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-9317263101135404842009-01-03T12:50:00.004-05:002009-01-03T13:32:16.207-05:00

As I alluded to before, Emp. Peng. and I have colds. Had, really. We are at the stage where we are just getting rid of residual phlegm. The human body's capacity for snot production is quite astounding, and seems to take its sweet time ramping down once the virus is cleared out. As a result, the Rookery is awash in used tissues and the sound of two people trying not to cough up a lung. I

Janetnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-80793733508074508422009-01-02T11:50:00.004-05:002009-01-02T13:39:25.991-05:00

Yes, yes, I know I haven't been blogging much. Between work and the migration, things at the Rookery have been getting quite busy. When the economy tanked back in September, a good chunk of our passive income evaporated, ending my days as a part-time housepenguin and throwing me into the workforce. I have managed to land in the You Can Do It In Your Jammies industry (self-employed working from

Janetnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-81115433358502479892008-12-18T16:16:00.006-05:002008-12-18T22:26:45.456-05:00

When I was 19, I got the opportunity to tour a maraschino cherry packing plant. I was in my late twenties before I ate another maraschino cherry after that. Part of that was the thought of the women who spend eight hours a day tucking cherry stems into jars so they would not interfere with establishing a seal on the jar. Mostly, though, it was the dye room. Cherries start off, well,

Janetnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-64514451847336473412008-12-16T17:14:00.003-05:002008-12-16T18:05:51.682-05:00

The economy is in the toilet. If only the job market were that good. Employment is somewhere between the septic tank and the leech field. If you haven't lost your job, chances are someone you know has. If not, you are either lucky or next in line for the pink slip yourself.Jobs are important to people. If the jobs themselves are not important, the things the income provides--food, shelter,

Janetnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-10001301021985676502008-12-01T22:02:00.002-05:002008-12-01T22:43:01.050-05:00

Here at the Rookery, Thanksgiving is just the two of us. Be that as it may, the perverse price incentives of the supermarkets this time of year mean it costs me less to buy a whole turkey than a small chunk of turkey. I can't bring myself to spend $9 on a two-pound turkey breast roast when I can get a whole turkey for around five smackers, so we have lots of turkey leftovers. This situation is

Janetnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-44257545169270897082008-11-23T21:17:00.002-05:002008-11-23T21:19:58.483-05:00

The video title calls him "One Lucky Penguin." I lean toward "Smart."Tip of the beak to Emp. Peng. for his judicious use of emailing humorous video.

Janetnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-55370426974134346392008-11-23T15:29:00.002-05:002008-11-23T16:10:26.447-05:00

It has recently come to my attention that there is a debate about whether the tasty bread-based substance served alongside the turkey on Thanksgiving is "dressing" or "stuffing." Well, I'm here to settle that. It is quite simple. "Dressing" is what you put on a salad. "Stuffing" is what you put inside poultry. Just take a look at what you are eating. If it is beige, you have stuffing. If

Janetnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-36633669625787592162008-11-14T11:35:00.002-05:002008-11-14T12:37:05.091-05:00

I fully expect that not all of my readers will agree, but please consider it anyway. It's only six and a half minutes. If you have time for a Bugs Bunny cartoon, you have time for this.Really consider the question: what is it to you?Emp. Peng. and I lived together for two and a half years before we got legally married under the auspices of the State of Nebraska (and immediately adjacent to

Janetnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-24975885072076248452008-11-08T12:52:00.003-05:002008-11-08T13:20:16.669-05:00

I am sitting here on the couch with my right foot propped up on a stack of pillows. It is not the most comfortable laptop-using position, since it gives one a bi-level lap, but it is what one is supposed to do for a sprained foot. A foot sprain is not, in itself, a notably stupid injury. Spraining one's foot while knitting is. Yes, I said "knitting." Take an activity whose primary equipment

Janetnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-90880075039958470782008-11-04T08:38:00.002-05:002008-11-04T08:43:46.387-05:00

If you muster the will to do anything today, and I include getting dressed and breathing, go vote. Unless you already have or are not a US citizen. Then, you are excused. The rest of you, get your butts to your polling place, wait in line if you have to, and cast your ballot. Well, vote and get dressed. As far as I know, voting in the nude is only legal in Oregon.Really, what are you doing

Janetnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-44709616798834148892008-11-01T00:07:00.002-04:002008-11-01T00:11:57.211-04:00

With five and a half hours until the official kickoff of NaNoWriMo, I decided I should up and join Facebook. What was I thinking? It is now nine minutes into NNWM, and only one character even has a name. Meanwhile, I already have nine friends on Facebook, some of whom I even know from offline.

Janetnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-16485153061484672052008-10-30T17:22:00.003-04:002008-10-30T17:31:20.449-04:00

Starting Saturday, I'm doing NaNoWriMo again. So far, I have a vague idea what I am going to write about. It is another sci-fi novel, set in a near-future universe where I place a lot of my stories. Other than that, I have only a vague idea of what the plot is going to be.Anyone care to join me?

Janetnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-90609879029479420272008-10-18T00:20:00.003-04:002008-10-18T00:55:22.023-04:00

I spent three years living in Holland, Ohio, home to this news cycle's Quintessential Everyman. I find it hard to believe there is $280,000 worth of leaky pipes in that township. It is not a big place. In fact, it is small enough that, were I still living there, I probably would have actually gotten door-knocked by Obama. That would have been seriously cool. Or not.Looking at what sort of

Janetnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-39100176614498860762008-10-10T09:38:00.010-04:002008-10-10T22:22:22.345-04:00

Recently, America has been up in a lather over AIG spending $440,000 on what is widely being described as an "Executive retreat" a week after asking for a multimillion dollar bailout related to this financial crisis. The White House even went so far as to send out the head spokesperson to call the move "Despicable." As a PR move, the retreat at a posh resort on the heels of a bailout was not

Janetnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-5849115483413982852008-10-07T21:25:00.002-04:002008-10-07T21:27:48.895-04:00

I'm sure it is a complex mess of causes and solutions. I just have one question: if the banks are getting bailouts and the CEOs are getting golden parachutes, can I at least get a seat cushion that acts as a flotation device?

Janetnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-20157512432424261092008-10-05T15:04:00.003-04:002008-10-05T15:15:21.821-04:00

Here's an ad for John McCain that ran (at least on Tuesday) in Ohio. Pay attention to the video clip in the lower left hand box right at the beginning:And here is an ad for Five Hour Energy Drink. Pay attention from the 18 second mark to the 22 second markThat is unmistakably the same lady in an apron and blue shirt. Not faulting them for using stock footage. I don't imagine most campaigns

Janetnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-21481515034207787122008-10-04T21:52:00.002-04:002008-10-04T23:01:06.644-04:00

Emp. Peng. and I spent the day at Mid-Ohio Con, a lovely comic book convention in Columbus. Whatever the impression given by news coverage of a comic book convention, most congoers are not, in fact, in costume. However, some are, and Emp. Peng. and I found ourselves waiting in line for Alan Dean Foster in front of a mixed-gender pair of stormtroopers. Having some time to kill, we got to

Janetnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-2722891920042644592008-10-03T22:42:00.002-04:002008-10-03T23:38:15.497-04:00

Here's a quick read from The Onion. I'll wait here while you go read it.Are you back? Good. As with everything in The Onion (see prior post on the Alpha Yam that refused to be candied), that was satire. Still, as with most good satire, it brings up an interesting point. Why do we trust 17-year-olds with a two-ton chunk of steel (or whatever it is they make cars out of now), but not their own

Janetnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-91436783896145297602008-10-02T14:11:00.003-04:002008-10-02T20:19:40.212-04:00

Normally, I eat healthy foods. My default diet is mostly lacto-ovo-vegetarian since I like cheese way more than I like meat. Forget about having half of your grains be whole grains; I don't even buy non-whole grains or flours. I will often get my five servings of fruits and vegetables in before 2 p.m. Even when I don't eat healthy foods, I at least eat foods, not the processed corn-syrup

Janetnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-47512460383593404072008-10-01T22:46:00.002-04:002008-10-01T23:06:54.801-04:00

Time again for the annual--I think it is annual, anyway, though I can't seem to find the others in the archives--rant about December encroaching on the rest of the year. I am almost tempted to give Wal-Mart a pat on the back for waiting until October to bring out the Santas, but when I stopped by today, the Christmas displays clearly had more than one day's work already completed. Still, I have

Janetnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-13340684473485367592008-09-28T01:02:00.003-04:002008-09-28T01:21:31.465-04:00

The past few weeks have been apple season here at the Rookery, with my two mature apple trees bearing their little heinies off. One of the cruel effects of apple processing is that for every gallon of apple juice I get, I end up with about 2 1/2 gallons of fiber-rich apple pulp, and that adds up fast. I have frozen it, baked it into bread and waffles, spread it on toast, and am considering

Janetnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-71853860969817107222008-09-26T23:52:00.002-04:002008-09-26T23:58:41.424-04:00

As I discovered on my recent trip to Colonial Williamsburg, Hooters has the best steamed shrimp ever.The Hooters is not actually in the Colonial part of Williamsburg. The only restaurants there are a few taverns, and of those, I must recommend the King's Arms Tavern, specifically the Game Pye, a combination of duck, rabbit and venison in a flaky crust. If you are going to Williamsburg with

Janetnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-87814349666155712222008-09-26T23:40:00.002-04:002008-09-26T23:52:28.164-04:00

Next week starts Breast Cancer Awareness Month, or as we call it at the Rookery, Hooter Consciousness Month. Advertising is already ramping up for the annual Assault of The Pink. Today, I passed a billboard urging women to get mammograms with the slogan:Put the Squeeze on Breast CancerInteresting tactic. I'm still a decade off from my first appointment with the boob squisher, and I'm already

Janetnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-13476369411118976542008-09-22T17:56:00.002-04:002008-09-22T18:39:36.786-04:00

3. "That's a great question." Listen to enough interviews--it does not matter with whom--and you will notice a trend. At least once in every interview--regardless of the subject, purpose or interviewee occupation--the interviewee begins an answer with, "That's a great question." You will also notice that it frequently comes in response to a question that is not "great" by any measure. This

Janetnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-36138518028176085082008-09-18T21:13:00.005-04:002008-09-19T14:11:31.689-04:00

A little early for Thanksgiving, the only time most Americans see a yam*, but funny nonetheless.Alpha Yam Resists Being CandiedIt's short. It's audio-only. Go take a bathroom break then give it a listen. You'll be glad of the bathroom break when you get to the part detailing the yam's defense against "aggressive marshmallow attacks."*-sweet potato, really. The things sold in North American

Janetnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-24487047128241193412008-09-18T21:13:00.004-04:002008-09-18T23:03:56.357-04:00

Ike blew through over the weekend. For some reason, hurricanes like to mosey through Ohio after they make landfall and cause all sorts of photogenic destruction along coastal areas. We got the remains of Katrina, which was just a really impressive rainstorm by the time it made it our way. That's how most hurricanes arrive here: they've blown themselves out hundreds of miles away, and are left

Janetnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-82422362025800069202008-09-06T00:24:00.004-04:002008-09-06T00:37:34.213-04:00

This is why actual remote controlled minicopters are superior to the video game (and, PengDad assures me, can be found for $10 less than the video game). Details are sketchy, but I don't think the helicopter sim has an "annoy the cat" mode.That is my eldest cat, Chessie, and Emp. Peng.'s new Rapid Flight Top Toys R/C Helicopter, meshed into my first experiment with Apple's iMovie software and

Janetnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-90859256918540788812008-09-05T10:52:00.005-04:002008-09-05T11:31:12.931-04:00

Ever since we paid off our credit cards, the credit card companies can't seem to go 10 minutes without offering us new accounts, higher limits and lower rates. Discover Card has even forgiven me for that little unpleasantness with my first credit card about 10 years ago and is talking to me again (or at least sending me preapproved offers). The banks were none too keen on lowering my rates a

Janetnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-57662314923585575912008-08-31T23:06:00.003-04:002008-08-31T23:31:16.432-04:00

A while back, PengDad gave me one of these mini remote controlled helicopters. They are fun little toys, especially around cats. I wish I had video of the time one of our kitties decided she had been buzzed by the minicopter once too often and pulled a King Kong, batting it out of the sky. Trust me, hours of amusement, divided into neat 15-minute segments to accommodate battery life.

Janetnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-14248131913952768282008-08-22T16:53:00.002-04:002008-08-22T17:06:55.985-04:00

It has been two years since I wrote this. Still sucks mackerel drippings. I don't expect it ever won't. But, time marches on.

Janetnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-58008524188595999362008-08-18T19:38:00.003-04:002008-08-18T20:01:33.253-04:00

Much Monday-morning political quarterbacking is being devoted to a forum over the weekend featuring Barack Obama and John McCain at Saddleback Church, mostly devoted to whether or not John McCain was or was not in a "Cone of Silence" while Barack Obama took the first shot at answering the questions. I did not watch the forum, so I can't assess it for myself, but apparently, the contention is

Janetnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-84727673182421099442008-08-11T10:27:00.004-04:002008-08-11T11:13:52.838-04:00

Last night, Emp. Peng. and I spent a mostly-lovely night out seeing Lewis Black's Let Them Eat Cake tour from the mezzanine of the Palace Theater in Columbus. If you have never heard of Lewis Black, here is a 5-minute sample that, while a few years old, is a fairly decent representation of his work. If you will be offended by f-bombs used as every part of speech except an adverb or use of other

Janetnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-21868025985649942982008-08-08T17:44:00.002-04:002008-08-08T17:47:11.276-04:00

Note to the North American native nocturnal marsupial population (and, yes, I believe opossums have internet access): when I said I do not find the odor of skunk offensive, I did not mean that I wanted it to be my new room freshener scent.Man, that crap lingers.

Janetnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-15277395898662958532008-08-06T23:52:00.005-04:002008-08-07T21:22:59.761-04:00

We take a break from the odor to bring you the most useless piece of health "reporting" I have seen in a long time, courtesy of Reuters: All U.S. Adults Could be Overweight in 40 Years.If the trends of the past three decades continue, it's possible that every American adult could be overweight 40 years from now, a government-funded study projects.Actually, I shouldn't blame the reporting too

Janetnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-42029470177291843652008-08-06T15:10:00.002-04:002008-08-06T15:32:12.332-04:00

OK, it seems there are some pros and cons to ignoring a skunk carcass in the hostas and hoping it goes away. On the plus side, it actually did go away. The prospect of having to inter the aft portion of a deceased skunk kept me up most of Saturday night, but by Sunday morning, there was naught but a tuft of black and white fur where the skunk had met its end. Relieved of the duty of skunk

Janetnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-47788849170979225112008-08-02T12:19:00.003-04:002008-08-02T12:34:25.238-04:00

So much for Woodrow's friend. I'm not a wildlife expert, but that sure looks like a skunk carcass between the hostas and the dicentra. Not that I'm planning on getting up close to check for sure that he hasn't just found a really odd place for a skunk to take a nap. For that matter, it's a really odd place for a skunk to keel over.This, of course, leaves me with an interesting problem--namely

Janetnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-77285133533060195142008-07-29T22:56:00.003-04:002008-07-29T23:23:56.385-04:00

The product looks much better in the adsStupid, yet practical (for the job) dress code for employeesBoth take care of basic biological needs in the most unsatisfying way possibleIn spite of bad reputations, they manage to stay in businessLos Angeles is limiting where the establishments can be located.The fast food restaurant folks are not any happier about #5 than the strip club owners are.

Janetnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-28346899208884602152008-07-28T18:59:00.002-04:002008-07-28T19:03:13.781-04:00

Woodrow has been making daily foraging runs to the orchard lately, and he seems to have found company. This morning, I looked out the window and saw a skunk wandering across the side yard.

Janetnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-66261941849124536682008-07-22T22:53:00.002-04:002008-07-22T23:42:04.785-04:00

Since Emp. Peng. pointed the internet to me as the Rookery's resident expert on the Large Hadron Collider (and I would like to point out that, outside the Rookery, I am not much of an expert on the topic), I figured I should provide the rundown of the reasons that the LHC will not annihilate the planet. Actually, I will provide a link to an actual astronomer who has actually gone to the LHC,

Janetnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-86270608847030185802008-07-22T22:05:00.002-04:002008-07-22T22:18:04.436-04:00

The key ingredient for my Scoop of Bliss grows wild at the fringes of my yard. I'm looking at taming some into a hedge, but that is not the point of this post. The point of this post is that I discovered recently that my primary black raspberry patch is conveniently located directly inside a patch of poison ivy. The strange thing is, I discovered this by identifying the vines running 25 feet

Janetnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-66787131828961885352008-07-14T21:45:00.003-04:002008-07-14T22:30:32.019-04:00

After filling my tummy with a soft pretzel at Sam's Club--for reasons yet to be determined, Sam's has the best soft pretzels this side of Philly--I headed over to fill up the car. I have no idea how people with huge cars deal with that task. My Prius has a 10 gallon tank. Any bigger than that, and I would have to bring along a sudoku to the filling station. Today, the job of alleviating my

Janetnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-8315996488852509782008-07-12T23:46:00.002-04:002008-07-12T23:58:48.998-04:00

This works best (read: at all) if you have access to fresh or frozen blackcaps. They grow wild here at the Rookery. With fairly constant access to the main ingredient for several weeks, I am starting to resume my former penguinesque physique. I won't say it is necessarily worth it, but it is gooooood.2 cups black raspberries (if using frozen, thaw and keep the juices)1 squeeze lemon or key

Janetnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-92072664882619807822008-07-09T23:15:00.002-04:002008-07-09T23:21:39.456-04:00

After an extended absence that made me wonder if he had succumbed to predation, Woodrow has shown his fuzzy snout again. Seems that he was just waiting for the midsummer buffet to start. Yesterday, he was perched under the apple tree nibbling the June drops. He even made a foray over to the pear tree, looking for his preferred foodstuff--when both trees are dropping fruit, he keeps the area

Janetnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-48822747208338853592008-07-09T23:09:00.003-04:002008-07-09T23:15:33.457-04:00

Check it out. Now I will definitely have to start posting more regularly. He is not instituting the PG-13 rule I have here at Penguin Perspectives, so be prepared for some occasional Language We All Use Yet Pretend People Are Too Delicate To Hear.

Janetnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-29691477938256188282008-06-30T20:26:00.003-04:002008-11-07T05:17:40.928-05:00

The very day this article appears in the New York Times touting a new environmentally friendly redesign of the milk jug, I happened to be at Sam's Club--one of the early adopters of the new jug design--and in need of milk. Welcome to the future of your milk jug, folks:Here at Penguin Perspectives, we strive to do all the awkward stuff first, so you don't have to wind up on the great cosmic

Janetnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5864158.post-18582233803780117452008-06-27T22:12:00.003-04:002008-06-27T22:16:38.429-04:00

Polish and Canadian researchers have determined that 90% of people can carry a tune. The data were obviously not collected on Karaoke Night.

Janetnoreply@blogger.com1