Sunday, October 26, 2003

Rational Discussion...

I find the Christian Science Monitor intriguing, as newspapers go. Their reporting is better than many outlets, and even though their editorial slant is a bit more conservative than my own, I find they make valid points more often than not. Most importantly, even when I don't agree with them, the writing is such that at least they make me see the logic of their viewpoint.

This article on marriage is a great example. Not only is it a remarkably balanced discussion of the debate over same-sex marriage--particularly remarkable for a publication with "Christian" in the title--it examines the issue's larger impact on the shifting attitudes toward marriage and how visceral reactions make a rational discussion difficult.

For my part, I think the best way to solidify marriage in this country is to take the emphasis off the wedding. Women, in particular, can be so obsessed with having the wedding of their dreams that I think they forget that it involves a marriage. I'm convinced that more women get married just to have a wedding than will ever admit it, even to themselves. Maybe we should just divorce the wedding from marriage and allow women to throw a wedding without a groom--after all, that's how many are planned from the bride's early childhood.

One of my friends was married in by a judge in between two arraignment hearings. She and her husband didn't even know the people who signed as witnesses to their marriage. My husband and I were married in a fairly simple civil ceremony that we probably put a grand total of 12 mintues into planning. Other women I know have done everything except rent swans to make their special day picture perfect. In my experience, the amount of fuss put into the act of getting married seems to be inversely proportional to the happiness of the subsequent marriage.

No comments: