One of the cats had to go to the vet this week, after we noticed some concerning matter in the litterbox. We narrowed down the culprit to Chakaal after noticing she was showing other signs of intestinal distress or possibly worms. Too bad for us that Chakaal is the most clever of the three cats.
None of our cats like going to the vet, and will run and hide when they see the kitty carrier. Standard operating procedure is to start gradually closing off potential hiding places, starting with under the bed, since that is, by virtue of being the most inaccessible to humans, their preferred hiding place. Before they know it, they are corralled into a room with nowhere to hide. Then we break out the carrier.
Apparently, at less than two years old, Chakaal has caught on to this plan. When I shut the drawers on the bed pedestal, she gave a big "we'll see about that" to the humans and proceeded to open the drawer herself and crawl behind it. No problem. I've lured cats out from under the bed before. I pulled the drawer out and got the pouch of kitty treats. The cats always flock to kitty treats. Soon, I had a second cat at my heels meowing for the treats, and one under the bed who was having none of it. Even when I put the treat morsel under there with her and sat back, she just pawed at it.
Plan B: catnip. Chakaal is a certified nip fiend. I plucked a sprig from the stand outside--they like it fresh--and waved it at her tantalizingly from just outside the drawer opening. Nothing. Even brushing her fur with the nip had no effect. Clearly, she had figured out that the more I wanted her out from under the bed, the less she would want to be out from under the bed.
On to Plan C: the food. Chakaal reliably comes from anywhere in the house when she hears the sound of the scoop in the kitty kibble. I have never made so much noise putting out dry cat food in my life. No dice. She had, however, taken advantage of my brief absence to get the sprig of catnip further in and was contentedly chewing.
After a quick call to the vet to tell them we were running late, it was on to Plan D: Friskies. They get moist food as a treat now and again, and all three know the distinctive clink of the cat dishes coming out of the cupboard. It is the most effective dinner bell one can imagine. In a split, I had two cats clamoring for the moist food. Unfortunately, these were the two that can't stand being in the same room without fighting, and not the one I wanted. After separating the other two out and giving them each a token bit, I took a dish into the bedroom to pull the old "move it a fraction of an inch away between bites trick." That worked right up until the dish got to the edge of the drawer, then Chakaal took a tactical retreat. On the second attempt, I actually managed to lure her completely out from the drawer, grab her, and get her into the bathroom. The wiley one managed to escape when she spotted and took advantage of the one flaw in my plan, namely that I had to open the bathroom door to go get the carrier. Back to square one.
There is no Plan E. With the other two cats, there isn't even a need for a Plan B, much less C-D. Chakaal had figured out what was coming, and she was not going to fall for the moist food gambit twice. Having exhausted all forms of lure and bribery, we were down to forcible removal. Fortunately for me, even if the cat outwits me, I still have the advantage in reach and overall mass. Given another half hour and removal of drawer rails so she has nothing to wedge her body between, that is enough to drag a cat bodily out, over loud objections.
We were almost an hour late for her appointment, and the extra wait for the appointment slot of a pet being even more obstinate did not convince her that things would go a lot easier if she just came out willingly and on time. $35 of poop analysis later, it turns out she has some mild intestinal inflammation, probably caused by eating something that is not officially sanctioned as edible for cats. It is nothing to worry about, but the vet prescribed a six-day course of oral medication to be certain it clears up.
Anyone who has ever given a cat a pill will recognize going through at least fourteen parts of these step-by-step instructions for giving a cat a pill. This is why we eventually moved to giving Felix his medication by transdermal gel.
Stay tuned for Part II, in which we actually start giving Chakaal a pill.
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