Three Things That Should Get People's Larynx Privileges Revoked

3. "That's a great question." Listen to enough interviews--it does not matter with whom--and you will notice a trend. At least once in every interview--regardless of the subject, purpose or interviewee occupation--the interviewee begins an answer with, "That's a great question." You will also notice that it frequently comes in response to a question that is not "great" by any measure. This goes down as the longest verbal pause, as measured in syllables, in the English language.
Anticipated next sighting: Replacing "Better not tell you now" on the Magic 8 Ball.

2. Any formulation of "Wall Street/Main Street." Last winter, I actually waited in line for something like 3 hours, in 20-odd degree weather to hear Barack Obama speak in person. He can be a stunning, inspiring speaker and it would pain me to have that level of oratory silenced. Nonetheless, he has appropriated what was a clever turn of phrase the first 700 billion times we heard it last week, from politicians, news talking heads, and I think a sign language enabled chimp.
Anticipated next sighting: Dolls that talk when you pull the string on their backs (not to be confused with politicians).

1. "If I can do it, anyone can." This one is popular in weight loss advertisements, whether they are paid commercials on TV or unsolicited advertisements spewing forth from an actual person, possibly even a friend, physically in your vicinity. Let's think through this one for a moment. A person (paid or unpaid) is boasting about doing something supposedly so easy that anyone can do it. Doesn't seem like there is much to brag about there, now, does it?
Anticipated next sighting: If the universe has a shred of mercy, nowhere.