Thursday, June 24, 2004

Urgent Manifesto

If we are going to remain a functional voicemail-using society, we are going to have to agree on a universal definition of the word "urgent." I suggest the 48-hour rule: urgent matters require action within 48 hours to avert, at minimum, a minor inconvenience. If we cannot agree to abide by a uniform standard of urgency, we must remove the option for leavers of voicemail to mark their message as "urgent."

My voicemail box gets maybe 2 messages a month, and almost without exception they are preceded by the chipper announcement, "This message is marked 'urgent.'" These "urgent" messages are usually requests for me to call with basic information--a task which, while important, is not urgent. "Urgent" would be matters like requesting a loan deferment be faxed to a lender before a student's loan goes into default and leaves a black mark on an otherwise immaculate credit history. Of course, people with these kinds of urgent matters have contacted me before, know what my office hours are and call when I am in.

"This message is marked 'urgent'" is voicemail code for "the person who left this message is a douchebag." If the matter were truly urgent, you would be in my office writing a note to leave in my inbox, not sitting at home in your Fruit of the Looms calling me.

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