Fun With EULAs

I've spent the past three days deep-cleaning my laptop by reformatting and reinstalling everything. This time, I decided to actually read through all of the End User License Agreements as I reinstalled the software. If you ever have time, you should do it. Spybot Search and Destroy, aside from being a great piece of anti-spyware software, has the most entertaining EULA. It's written in a very conversational tone, and actually begins with a dedication to "the most wonderful girl in the world" and, as it is a free program, pleas for donations to the programmer and the aforementioned most wonderful girl in the world. It's worth dowloading the software just to read the license agreement.

Here are actual excerpts from Microsoft Windows XP Tablet Edition's EULA.

Internet Gaming Features...By using these features, you explicitly authorize MS, Microsoft Corporation and/or their designated agent to use this information solely to improve our products or to provide customized service or technology to you. MS or Microsoft Corporation may disclose this information to others, but not in a form that personally identifies you.

My question there is, just how can they provide customized services or technology to me if they're not disclosing the information in a way that personally identifies me? If it's customized, somewhere along the lines, I pretty much have to be personally identified.

After upgrading, you may no longer use the SOFTWARE that formed the basis of your upgraded eligibility.

So, if I'm reading that right, if I upgrade anything in the software and it causes problems, I am actually prohibited from rolling back to the earlier edition.

And my favorite:

You may not copy the printed materials accompanying the software.

So, remember, xeroxing your EULA is a violation of the EULA. As would, presumably, bloggi--oops. About that. Gotta go.